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| The Justin Bieber of Professional Wrestling |
Now I know that many many other writers, journalists and internet reviewers wrote about him. I feel that their might be something missing from other entries to the anomaly that is John Cena.
I know that others say the same thing. "John Cena is a good person, he does a lot of charity work, so I don't hate the guy...blah...blah... blah." I'm going to say this: I'm going to bash him and I don't care about his personal life, because it doesn't effect my viewership of the program. He may be an asshole, he may be a saint, but we are straight talking about his character. Let's get to it.
10) Bodybuilding Hack
The first testament to his infamy is his origins of his professional wrestling life. He was a bodybuilder before his wrestling debut.
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| Yeah, that's John Cena |
A lot of wrestlers come from bodybuilding, and they are pushed to the top. Just look at Batista, Triple H and Big E; they were all bodybuilders and each one rose or rising to the top. Bodybuilders that joined wrestling seem to be placed higher on the proverbial totem pole than wrestlers from the independent circuit. However, wrestling fans can easily see that the bodybuilding wrestlers often can't match the moves, theatrics or sells that independent wrestlers have. Also, they usually have the charisma. Now back to Cena...his bodybuilding career is often looked down on just like other bodybuilding wrestlers by wrestling fans.
9)Winning too many Titles
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| The ugly spinning belt Cena showed us |
Having the WWE title meant you are the best of the best. Having around five title reigns mean you are a legend. However, having 10+ just means you are taking away from other people. John Cena has had more time with this belt than Randy Orton, The Rock and Stone Cold combined. Without anyone to challenge Cena or meaningful matches, his title reigns are cheapen. Announcers call him "One of the Greatest of all Time," but I feel he did nothing but hurt the sport and it's title. Understanding that it is all Kayfabe means WWE Title Reigns is more about quality over quantity. I mean who really was better Stone Cold Steve Austin with his 5 WWE Title Reigns or John Cena with his 11 WWE Title Reigns also being the second-longest title holds in 25 years?
8) Making the match less realistic
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| Kids born in the 2000s |
One of the worst offenses to the viewing eyes. We all know that Wrestling is not real, but Cena can at least act like something other than an underdog in the match. When the same story is told over and over again in the ring, it becomes anti-climatic, predictable and degrades other wrestlers. If the story is the same, it's not as much fun, and we start to see faults in the work. Then the young viewers become cynical assholes like myself.
It's quite easy- John Cena comes out to a hateful crowd and tells us about the energy of the crowd and its name. He runs and slides into the ring, shows off the shirt, does a few gestures and the match starts. At first, Cena and the opponent square off on the same level, then the opponent beats his ass. The crowd does the whole polarizing "Lets go Cena; Cena Sucks," and Jerry...only Jerry Lawler will speak about Cena getting an energetic crowd. Cena does two shoulder blocks, the opponent swings wildly and Cena does a spin-out powerbomb. 5-knuckle shuffle and it's setup for an Attitude Adjustment. The AA is countered, and they trade out moves. The STFU is put on and the opponent reaches the ropes. Finally, Cena gets hit with a finisher and kicks out at 2. Somehow, Cena pulls off an Attitude Adjustment for the win.
Typical Cena match.
7) Backstage Politics
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| Arguing over who kisses who's ass! |
We all know that John Cena is Vince McMahon's love child. After all, he does make WWE a ton of money with merchandise sells. In the end, WWE is of course a business. Money is what they are all about, so why not keep your cash cow in the top of the mountain. Now with Cena at the top for pretty much 9 or more years, we all would of been sick of him already after 5. The spotlight has a permanent spot on him, and we all know his matches through and through. We know his promos through and through. Why? Because of Vince McMahon LOVES MONEY!!!
6) In-ring ability
The second testament to why we hate Cena is his wrestling skills. Three reasons his in-ring ability sucks are: his ability to sell moves and injuries, his move repertoire and his botches.
Botches happen rarely; even more they are noticeable. John Cena has so many botches that he featured on many Botchamanias. Botches discredits a wrestler's reputation. Now with Cena haters watching for these botches, you would think he is better. No way!
Finally, his move list is quite short. We all know the five moves of doom, but lately he has been trying other things. Every new move seems to scream fake. Mostly, he keeps moves clean and acceptable.
To be fair, John Cena does one thing great and that's exciting the crowd when it comes to the big night.
5) Pandering to the Audience too much
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| Cena wants you to join the Cenation Army |
This one is pretty short. Cena loves to rib the crowd and excite them.
Teasing people about heel turns, saying childish curse words like "cheese and crackers" and pandering to the audience is why he sucks at the mic. This is starting to become a trend among other faces. It's too politically correct and pg. Everyday, I wish for a manly face. One that won't take shit, much like Steve Austin. One that can make us laugh at the expense of the opponent like The Rock. One that is not pg and panders to the kids. I know this may piss off people, but Daniel Bryan is starting to pander to us way too much.
Teasing people about heel turns, saying childish curse words like "cheese and crackers" and pandering to the audience is why he sucks at the mic. This is starting to become a trend among other faces. It's too politically correct and pg. Everyday, I wish for a manly face. One that won't take shit, much like Steve Austin. One that can make us laugh at the expense of the opponent like The Rock. One that is not pg and panders to the kids. I know this may piss off people, but Daniel Bryan is starting to pander to us way too much.
4) Never Losing
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| John Cena's Alter-Ego |
After 12+ years, we now know that each Cena match involves a predictable high percentage of him winning. It is somewhat acceptable if it was just PPVs that Cena almost never lost, but having him never lose no matter what on RAW and Smackdown is just ridiculous. Since 2005, Cena has only lost cleanly seven times. Even more, he always has an excuse for that lost, whether it is an injury or some off hand problem. Just for once, I would love to see him tap out or say "I Quit."
3) Burying Rising Stars
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| The Shovel will haunt you |
Since his debut, Cena has been burying Rising Stars like Bull Buchanan(B-2), Billy Kidman and Redd Dogg, whom they both disappeared to make Cena look good.
With him being at the top for so long, he takes away the spotlight from other rising stars. Each one from 09' to 11' has been buried:
The Miz
Wade Barrett
The Nexus
Alberto Del Rio
Dolph Ziggler
Ryback
Mark Henry
The list can go on. Some of these guys have even been ridiculed for it. Again I can't find a clip for it, but Dolph Ziggler and John Cena are talking. Then Cena says something so damn hateful and asshole-like about not rising up to the top. It's funny that he says that since he was always there.
2) Taking the Spotlight
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| Stealing two Wrestlemania main events from others |
This may be close to the Never Losing or Winning too many Titles I was talking about. The difference is during the CM Punk reign with the WWE Championship, John Cena was featured in the main event of PPVs three more times than Punk. Even more, two of those times Punk was in the main event John Cena was in there too. When Cena was WWE Champion, the World Heavyweight Champion (which was supposed to be on the same level) was always degraded outside the main event slot. So, let me put this in a nutshell:
Cena never loses, he won way too many championships and took away the spotlight from everyone.
I have always loved this analogy: John Cena to other wrestlers' point-of-view is the ex-boyfriend of your girlfriend who she always talks about. How good he was, how he made her feel right and always one-upping your life.
1) Character Flaws
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| He better thank The Rock |
Cena has a million shirts that he has produced over the years. Each one has him coming to the ring, and showing off the shirt each time. Also, each time it says his same catchphrases. Even one has him posing next to a guy that wore a "Cena Sucks" shirt. Apparently, the guy is an actor that WWE hires. Way to "Hustle" those shirts.
His storylines are the worst, because he is so cheesy in character. Storylines like: The AJ Lee Debacle, The Rise Above the Hate fiasco and anything from 2010. Only guys like Mark Henry, Daniel Bryan and CM Punk make his storylines special and entertaining.
Cena is the essence of the PG era. Cursing in the blandest ways. Starring in annoying movies like "Fred." Turning an insult into a commercial. The worst is pandering to kids.Yeah kids are special, but this is WWE and what is the basics of professional wrestling- to beat the hell out of the opponent in order to pin him for a three count. Not exactly for kids. He never forgets the "Respect" of his loyal merchandise buyers.
Lastly, due to his major pull backstage that ripples through everybody, John Cena will never change his character. Whether he go for a less childish side or go for a heel role, Cena will continue to bore us with his PG, cheese and crackers, non-entertaining ass for a little while longer.
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